When and how is a confession performed?
Usually a confession is performed either in the evening during Vespers or before the beginning of Liturgy, during the reading of the Hours. If there are very many faithful that want to confess, it may be practical to have a general confessional. In this instance, the priest reads the sermon on Repentance, naming all the established sins outlined on a list. Those attending, repent their sins mentally before God. Afterwards, any person that has committed a sin(s) outside those mentioned on the list, or one that is sufficiently grave to require an individual confession, approaches the priest and repents before him.
In reconciling the person with God through the prayer of Absolution, the priest performs this not through his personal authority, but through the command of our Lord, Jesus Christ (Mat. 18:18; John 20:23).
During confession, don’t await questions from the priest and outline your sins: after all a confession is a great and self-enforcing deed. Speak concisely, avoiding the use of expressions that try to hide the ugliness of the sin (eg. “sinned against the 7th Commandment”). During a confession it is very difficult to avoid the temptation of self-justification, or refrain from attempting to explain to the spiritual father of the “mitigating circumstances,” or blaming third parties for leading us into sin. All this stems from our egoism and false shame.
A sure indication that God had accepted a repentance, is when that person experiences a feeling of weightlessness and joy after confession.
The spiritual father and obedience to him.
A spiritual father is a priest to whom a person regularly comes for confession and spiritual guidance. Just as a person frequents the same doctor for his illnesses, because being familiar with his ailments and physical background, the treatment would be more successful, so should he stay with the one priest for his spiritual therapy. The relationship with him should be built on sincerity, understanding and trust. Repentance should always be undertaken freely and not under duress.
A spiritual father should not offer uncalled for advice or assume the role of a sagacious “starets.” The responsibility of the spiritual father is to help individuals realise their deficiencies, remember their sins and show genuine repentance. If the repentant, with prayer and reliance on God, asks his priest for spiritual advice, God (in recognition of the seeker’s faith) would implant into the spiritual father as to what to say to that individual.
Although it is desirable to have the same spiritual father on an ongoing basis, it is certainly not essential condition for the act of repentance. In essence, God cures our spiritual sores, while the priest acts as a “guide” to His grace.